


Car Trouble

by LouderthanSilence



Category: Naruto
Genre: Akatsuki is one big family of adrenaline junkies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, CEO!Itachi, Evil Cats, Itachi is a wild drunk, Itachi is awkward as sin, Jiraiya adopts Naruto and Gaara, Kisame's parents own a diner bc I said so, Kurama and Shukaku are cats, Lawyer!Sasuke, M/M, Mentions of ptsd/trauma, Naruto & Itachi are besties, Naruto is Just Naruto, Neji and Naruto are besties, Painter!sasuke, Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto Friendship, bi naruto, gender fluid gaara
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-18 15:41:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19337530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LouderthanSilence/pseuds/LouderthanSilence
Summary: 20-year-old Sasuke Uchiha was at the top of his class.He was a force to be reckoned with, in or outside of the classroom, aiming to be a lawyer and a damn good one at thatSo, when 22-year-old Sasuke suddenly starts missing classes, failing tests and seems to be high all the time, his friends are concerned, but he doesn’t care, until he’s forced to withdraw from school and move out of the dorms.Having nowhere else to go, Sasuke finds himself driving to stay at his estranged brother's apartmentThen, as if things couldn’t get any worse, his car breaks down 6 hours away from his brother in the middle of winter.Distraught, Sasuke calls Itachi to come get him, but Itachi is unable to, so he sends his best friend Naruto to help.Naruto is unlike any other person Sasuke's ever met and soon enough, he finds himself in stickier and wilder situations as their friendship progresses.Can Naruto convince Sasuke that there's something worth getting better for?





	Car Trouble

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so, I know I really need to stop writing new things but this is something I could NOT get out of my head for like ever so yee.  
> I have like 7 separate scenes written out, but no transition to those scenes :( 
> 
> Anyways, I really hope you guys enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.  
> Painfully awkward Itachi being best friends with Sunshine boy Naruto is something that I just desperately wanted in my life because I feel like in canon if they were given a chance, would deff bond over Sasuke and his petty ass.

Sasuke growled in frustration as he desperately tried to crank his car for the 4th time, but all that could be heard was a faint clicking noise. Tears pricked at his eyes as panic welled up in his chest.

_ He was stranded in the middle of nowhere and it was cold and his car wouldn’t start.  _

He was gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were turning white. 

He’d been driving to stay with his brother for Christmas break and it was currently 2 am and his car had given out with 6 hours left to go. 

 

Sasuke rested his head on his steering wheel and contemplated just getting out, walking into the woods, and dying out there. 

Maybe he’d freeze to death quickly enough. 

He squeezed his eyes closed, ready to scream as he dug through his pocket for his phone. 

 

_ Itachi is going to be pissed if he has to come to get me at 2 am and drive 12 hours round trip. _

_ He’ll tell me he told me to wait till morning, or that he’s been telling me to get my car checked out. …. Or he could tell me I’m too much of a bother.  _

 

Opening his eyes slowly he unlocked his phone and carefully punched in Itachi’s number, holding the phone up to his ear he closed his eyes again and bit down on his lip. He tried to pretend his hands weren’t shaking

 

_ Why was he so nervous to make a simple fucking phone call? Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.  _

 

“Hello? Sasuke?” Itachi picked up on the 3rd ring, voice heavy and laced with sleep. Guilt stabbed at Sasuke’s heart. 

 

“H-hey Itachi. Uh. So. Funny story…” Sasuke trailed off, twirling his hoodie string around his finger. 

On the other end, Itachi sighed deeply. Sasuke winced. 

 

“Let me guess. You decided to leave tonight and your car broke down?” He asked, voice emotionless. Sasuke chewed on his lip before answering. 

 

“Uh yeah.” He said quietly. Itachi sighed again. 

 

“How far away are you?” He asked. 

 

“That’s the thing Itachi…I’m in Mobile. I still have like 6 more hours” Sasuke said sheepishly. There was another deep sigh. Sasuke felt tears prick at his eyes. 

_ He knew he was overreacting but he couldn’t stop it.  _

 

“Well. I can’t come to get you at the moment, it’s late and I wouldn’t be back in time for the morning meeting I can’t miss, but let me make some calls. Maybe I can get a friend to come to get you. Give me a minute and I’ll call you back” and the line went dead. Sasuke groaned and slammed his head into the steering wheel before stuffing his freezing hands into his pockets. 

 

_ It was getting really cold.  _

 

A minute or two later, His phone rang and Sasuke snatched it up. 

 

“Itachi?” He asked nervously. 

 

“Sasuke. I have a friend who’s willing to come to get you. He’s actually visiting a friend for the weekend and they live close to mobile so he said he’d come to get you and we’ll just have to call a tow truck in the morning for your car so grab everything of value out it when Naruto gets there. I’ll text you his number and you can send him your location” 

 

“Itachi?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Uh. Thanks.”

 

“Don’t thank me. Thank Naruto when he gets there. I’ll see you tomorrow Sasuke.” 

The line went dead and Sasuke let out a sigh of relief.  _ He wasn’t completely stranded in the cold.  _

_ But what if Itachi’s friend is a serial killer?  _

_ Itachi wouldn’t do that… would he???  _

Sasuke chewed on his lip until he tasted copper. 

_ He has been an inconvenience as of late.  _

_ Itachi probably doesn’t even want him there.  _

 

His phone buzzed. It was a text from Itachi of the name Naruto and a phone number. Sasuke quickly copies the number and send a text. 

 

“Is this Naruto?”

 

“Yeah! Sasuke?” 

 

“Yeah.” 

 

“Alrighty! Send me your location!”

 

“Okay” Sasuke hit the button and his location popped up. He hit send. 

 

“Oh dope! I’m actually closer than I thought! I’m leaving now so I should be there within an hour or so! Believe it!” Sasuke winced. This guy sounded so  _ cheerful.  _

_ A cheerful serial killer???  _

 

Sasuke shivered.  _ It was getting really cold out.  _

He pulled the sleeves of his hoodie over his fingers and crossed his arms, burrowing down into his seat. 

_ Maybe he could take a small nap before Naruto got here.  _

 

Sasuke jerked awake to the sound of tapping on his window. His fingers and nose were numb and his throat hurt.  _ It was so cold _ . 

Sasuke panicked at first because he didn’t know where he was. 

 

_ No no no no. Not again.  _

 

There was another tap against his window and after a few minutes, Sasuke realized that he was in his car and that must be Naruto. 

After a few tries, he managed to clumsily open the door. He threw it open… and slammed the door directly into Naruto. 

 

“Oooof” The man outside grunted and wheezed slightly and Sasuke felt himself pale. 

When he peered outside of the car, there was a guy with wildly unkempt blond hair doubled over,  _ coughing.  _

 

_ He hit fucking Naruto. Great.  _

_ Now you’ve pissed off the serial killer.  _

 

Sasuke shook his head. He  _ really _ needed to stop jumping to the extremes. What were the chances that Itachi would send a serial killer???

 

“Oh my god, are you okay? I’m sorry I fell asleep and you scared me and I” Sasuke was aware he was rambling now, but he really didn't know how to stop it... 

 

“Yeah, yeah I uh. I think I’m good.” He managed, standing up and wiping his eyes. Sasuke found himself staring at one of the hottest guys he’d ever seen. He swallowed,  _ hard.  _

 

Naruto stared at him, blinking, head cocked slightly to the side. 

 

“Have we met before?” Naruto asked quietly, brow furrowed. 

 

“Huh? No. No, I don’t think so”  Sasuke stuttered.  _ There was something eerily familiar about the blond but Sasuke wasn’t quite sure what it was.  _

 

“You okay man? You look kinda sick” Naruto leaned out to touch Sasuke, who jerked to life and jumped out of the car, stumbling slightly

 

“Yeah yeah I’m good. Uh. I’m going to grab my stuff. Uh. Thanks, man. For you know. Helping me out” Sasuke scrambled around the car to hide his now burning face.  _ His heart was thundering against his chest.  _

_ Had it always been this hard to breathe? _

 

“Oh! No problem! ‘Tachi is like my best friend! I couldn’t  _ not _ help him out.” Naruto said cheerfully and Sasuke frowned.  _ Best friends? ‘Tachi??? Whomst?? _

 

“I wouldn’t of guessed he’d be friends with someone like you” the words slipped out of Sasuke’s mouth before he had a chance to think about them. He turned in horror to look at Naruto, who started laughing. 

 

“Yeah yeah I guess not. Hah. You know what they say tho. Opposites attract. “ Naruto mumbled scratching at the… scars on his face?   _ Who just has whisker-shaped scars on his face? _

_ Something about them seemed familiar like Sasuke had seen them before.  _

 

Suddenly, Naruto was behind Sasuke grabbing at Sasuke’s guitar case. Sasuke felt panic surge through him and he grabbed Naruto’s wrist.

_ Naruto was so warm…  _

Naruto froze and his eyes widened. Sasuke felt his face flush even darker. 

“Uh that’s my guitar… I don’t like others touching it” Sasuke mumbled, saying it aloud really made him embarrassed.  _ You’re overreacting… again _ . 

Stupid. Stupid.  _ Stupid.  _

 

Naruto gave a breathy laugh. 

“That’s cool. I get it. I’ll just grab the other bags. You go ahead and get in the truck, I left it on so the heaters running. You’re  _ freezing _ .” Naruto said, something akin to worry seeping into his voice. 

 

_ He thinks you’re fucking crazy. He’s gonna tell Itachi his brother is a head case and Itachi’s going to tell you to get out and you’re gonna live in a cardboard box and starve to death and _

 

“Oh. Uh. Yeah sure.” Sasuke mumbled, face burning. He grabbed his guitar case and tightened his fingers around the handle. 

 

Sasuke turned to see what Naruto drove and could only stare dumbly at the ugly orange pick up truck sitting behind his car. Naruto laughed and walked by Sasuke holding  _ all the rest of his bags. Just how strong  _ **_was this guy?_ **

_ I guess you have to be pretty strong to murder people.  _

 

Sasuke shook his head again. 

 

_ Itachi would  _ **_not_ ** _ send a serial killer to get him.  _

Naruto gestured to the passenger side door and Sasuke lurched forward and opened it. 

 

Naruto leaned into the truck and stuffed Sasuke’s bags behind the seats and then he crawled out and gestured for Sasuke to put his guitar case in the truck.  _ He finally settled on sitting it on the floorboard and leaning it against the dash.  _

 

“That everything?” Naruto asked and Sasuke nodded quietly. Naruto walked around to his side of the truck and climbed inside. Sasuke turned towards his car and pressed the lock button.  _ Once. Twice. Let the car beep. Then again. And once more just to make sure.  _

His face was still burning when he finally scrambled into the truck and shut his door. 

He kept his eyes on the floor. 

 

_ Naruto doesn’t need any more reasons to leave you here.  _

 

“Okaaay. Road trip here we come.” Naruto singsonged as he turned the radio on. A loud pop song started to play and Sasuke grimaced. 

 

Naruto laughed again before plugging his phone into the aux and handing his phone to Sasuke. 

 

_ It was unlocked. Wasn’t Naruto worried about Sasuke going through it?? _

 

“Here. You can find a song on here” Naruto explained. “Oh! I have blankets in my toolbox. Be right back!” Naruto said cheerfully before climbing back out of the truck. Sasuke watched him through the back windshield. 

 

Naruto opened his toolbox and pulled out what looked to be a pillow and two blankets. 

He brought them back and handed them to Sasuke, who  _ tried  _ to refuse them at first but they looked so  _ soft _ and he was  _ freezing.  _

So, reluctantly, Sasuke accepted the blankets and wrapped them around himself and then he sunk down in the seat and pressed the pillow in between himself and the door. 

Naruto climbed back into the truck and held his phone back out to Sasuke, who swallowed thickly and took the phone from his hands carefully

Naruto turned his attention back to the steering wheel and put the truck in drive.

 

Sasuke cradled the phone in his hands and scrolled through Naruto’s music selection. 

 

_ He had to admit. He and Naruto shared similar music tastes.  _

 

Sasuke finally settled on a song called  _ The Dead Days  _ by a band called Get Scared. 

 

As the song started Sasuke snuggled into the blankets and pulled them up around his ears and let the music engulf him. 

 

_ “Ever since I can remember, I've been okay at best _

_ It seems like every day's a struggle just to get outta bed _

_ As a kid, I thought it couldn't get much better than this _

_ Now I'm one pessimistic son of a bitch _ ”

 

Sasuke tried desperately to stay awake. 

 

_ He has to. Who knows what Naruto could do to you when you fall asleep??  _

 

Sasuke fought falling asleep as hard as he could, but his  _ body was just so exhausted _ , and there was something just so weirdly  _ comforting  _ about hearing Naruto sing quietly and off key. 

He drifted off to sleep. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


Sasuke was woken up by someone gently shaking him. He jolted awake and immediately started to take in his surroundings. 

 

_ He’d fallen asleep in Naruto’s truck. Why did he do that?  _

 

Sasuke felt his chest get tight and he swallowed thickly. 

 

_ Don’t freak out. Don’t freak out. Everything’s in order, you’re okay. He didn’t do anything.  _

 

Sasuke then noticed Naruto, who was standing outside the open passenger door, two big coffee cups in hand. 

Smiling softly, Naruto held one of them out to him. Sasuke took it skeptically and sniffed it. 

 

“It’s just hot chocolate. I was gonna get you coffee but then I remembered Itachi said you loved hot chocolate more than anything so I just had to.” Naruto explained with a smile. He handed Sasuke something else too,  _ a small box of sour patch kids, the only candy Sasuke likes.  _

 

Sasuke blinked dumbly up at Naruto. He wasn’t sure what he was more surprised by, the fact that Itachi remembered that hot chocolate was Sasuke’s favorite or the fact that he’d told Naruto,  _ probably just something Itachi had mentioned,  _ and Naruto had somehow  _ remembered.  _

 

“Uh. Thanks” he said quietly and Naruto smiled. 

 

_ Sasuke wasn’t sure to be touched… or creeped out. Great… He’s gonna wear your face as a mask now.  _

 

“Watch your limbs imma close the door now.” He said. Sasuke readjusted himself to make sure that everything was inside the truck and Naruto shut the door before making his way back over to the drivers side and climbing in. 

 

He hummed quietly to himself as he set down his coffee and turned the key in his truck. 

The truck roared to life and Sasuke finally sat up and pulled his knees up to his chest. Sasuke spared a glance at the clock and could only let his jaw hanging open. 

_ It was already 5am?? He’d slept  _ **_that_ ** _ long? _

 

Naruto instantly started rambling about nothing in particular and Sasuke found himself relaxing and letting the words wash over him. 

He reached down and dug his fingernails into his ankle, allowing the pain to force him back awake every time he got sleepy.  _ He couldn’t fall asleep again.  _

 

“Hey, Sasuke. How down are you for some breakfast?” Naruto asked, glancing over at him. 

 

Sasuke opened his mouth to tell Naruto he  _ really didn’t have the money, nor did he have an appetite but _ his stomach growled loudly, effectively cutting off Sasuke’s words and causing his face to turn bright red. Sasuke immediately looked down at his hot chocolate, trying to let his hair hide his face.

 

“I’ll take that as a yes” Naruto said laughing. Sasuke’s face got darker. 

 

“There's this place off exit 43 Me ‘N ‘Tachi used to go to all the time. It’s this little mom and pop diner called The Pancake Pavillion. They have the  _ best  _ pancakes. It's actually owned by Itachi’s bo, er, roommate Kisame’s parents.” Naruto continued. Sasuke quirked an eyebrow at Naruto’s obvious stumble on words and leaned up against his door. 

 

As it was nearing 6 am, Naruto’s phone started to ring. Sasuke picked it up at Naruto’s request and glanced down at the name flashing across the screen. 

 

“Hibachi’Tachi?” Sasuke read confused. Naruto laughed loudly.

 

“That’s Itachi. Answer it and put it on speaker for me.” Naruto responded and Sasuke did as he was told. 

 

“Hello big brother Itachi. Have you thought about my demands?” Naruto greeted Itachi in a steely voice. Sasuke was even more confused.  _ Big brother itachi?? What demands? Why does this sound like a kidnapping negotiation? _

 

Panic started to well up in Sasuke’s chest. 

 

“Ah, Yes I have pondered long and hard about your demands” Itachi said evenly. Sasuke was even more confused. 

 

“And?” Naruto asked.

 

“I don’t negotiate with terrorists.” Itachi deadpanned before the line went dead. Naruto barked a loud laugh. Sasuke stared at Naruto now super confused. Naruto glanced over at Sasuke before paling slightly. 

 

“He’s responding to a text I sent to our group chat this morning, here” Naruto said reaching over and grabbing his phone. Naruto unlocked it and handed it back, eyes still on the road.

“Go to my messages and click on the group chat titled Uchiyeehaw and scroll up until you see the picture.” Naruto said. Sasuke did as he was told and he couldn't help but snort at the title of the group chat. 

 

Sasuke clicked into it and scrolled up until he came across a picture….  _ Of himself… sleeping… curled up in the blankets in Naruto’s truck.  _ Anger flashed through him at the thought of Naruto taking a picture without his permission. Sasuke scrolled down slightly to read the thread.

  
  


**‘Uchi-yeehaw’**

 

2:45am

 

**SendNoods** **has sent a picture!**

**SendNoods** **:** Hello Big Brother Itachi. I have kidnapped your precious brother. If you ever wish to see him again I will require lunch at my restaurant of choice **.**

**SendNoods** **:** if my demands are not met, you’ll never see your precious Sasuke again. >:)))

 

**Fivehead** : Naruto! You shouldn’t take pictures of people without their consent!! 

**Fivehead:** also, Itachi. Why didn’t you tell us your brother was this cute? :((( 

 

**Hyuugofuckurself:** Naruto. It’s almost 3 fucking am. What the fuck?? Whyyyy :((

**Hyuugofuckurself:** and also… why do you have a sleeping Sasuke in your car at 3 am? Do I even wanna know? 

 

**Thatlldo(Ino)pig:** Omg! Shut the fuck up!! Some of us have WORK in the morning. 

**Thatlldo(Ino)pig:** WAIT! That’s SASUKE??? 

**Thatlldo(Ino)pig:** He’s cute. 

 

***Hackervoice*imin:** what a dragggggg. Go to sleep. 

***Hackervoice*imin:** Naruto, You’d better bring Sasuke home before you incur the wrath of angry Hibachi’Tachi.

 

**SendNoods:** no one loves me. 

 

**ItsCactUS-notCactYOU** : I love you Naruto. 

 

**SendNoods** : Awh! I love you too Garrr!

 

**ItsCactUS-notCactYOU:** Of course, but please shut the fuck up so we can sleep. Be careful driving. 

 

**Fivehead:** Preach Gaara!

 

**SendNoods** : :((((

  
  


The more people that called Sasuke cute, the more nauseous he got. 

_ He’s nothing special to look at.  _

Ugly. Ugly. Ugly. 

 

He also noticed that someone else had called Itachi ‘Hibachi’Tachi’. Sasuke wondered what the nickname meant. Asking couldn’t hurt  _ right? He needed the distraction.  _

 

“Why do you guys call him Hibachi’Tachi?” Sasuke asked Naruto. Naruto was turning off the interstate now. Sasuke noticed the sign for Exit 43.  _ Oh, breakfast time.  _

 

“Well, It’s a long story.” Naruto said as he turned down another road. He put his blinker on to go left and soon enough they were parked in front of a small diner with a neon orange sign that read “The Pancake Pavillion” Sasuke noted it looked cozy. 

 

“Let's go inside and sit down and i’ll tell you the story.” Naruto said as he undid his seat belt. Sasuke followed suit. They walked into the basically empty diner and a large woman with olive skin and black hair piled on top of her head looked up when the bell rang. Her face lit up when she saw Naruto and she faltered slightly when she saw Sasuke but then she smiled warmly and waved at them enthusiastically. Naruto waved back just as enthusiastically and then instantly beelined for a booth in the far corner. Sasuke slid into the side across from Naruto just as the woman made it over to their table. 

 

“Naruto! It’s so good to see you! How you been doin’ darlin’? How’s Itachi these days? He and Kisame rarely visit anymore.” She said with a thick accent that Sasuke couldn’t quite place. Naruto grinned up at her. 

 

“Hey Ma! Itachi and Kisame are fine, just really busy as of late. I’m sure if I didn’t work with Itachi I’d never see him. And Kisame is so buried in his internship sometimes I’m sure he just sleeps in the tanks!” They both laughed before ‘Ma’ turned her attention to Sasuke. Sasuke gulped. 

 

“You must be Sasuke! Itachi’s told me a lot about you! It’s so nice to finally meet you! I’m Tsukiko Hoshigaki, My son lives with your brother.” She exclaimed smiling widely. Sasuke found himself blushing and he looked down at the table to hide his face. 

_ Itachi’s talked about him? _

 

“Nice to meet you too.” he mumbled quietly. 

 

“Okay. well. Sasuke what can I getcha? Naru over here is here so often I know his order by heart.” She jerked her thumb over her shoulder to point at  Naruto, who blushed and looked away. 

 

Sasuke stared down at the menu. 

His stomach may of growled earlier, but now… it just flipped and twisted. He blinked and remembered Naruto saying something about pancakes. 

 

Sasuke stuttered out an order for a stack of pancakes and some coffee. Mrs. Hoshigaki nodded and off she went, leaving Sasuke and Naruto in silence. 

 

Naruto cleared his throat and Sasuke looked up at him. 

 

“Okay. So you wanted to hear the story about why we call Itachi, Hibachi’Tachi right?” Naruto asked. Sasuke nodded and Mrs. Hoshigaki returned with their drinks.  _ Both coffee. _

 

“Thanks ma! You’re the best!” Naruto exclaimed with a grin before taking a sip  _ of his black coffee.  _

She waved them off before disappearing back into the kitchen. Naruto took another sip of coffee before continuing. 

Sasuke reached over and grabbed the sugar, putting in 1 spoon of sugar before taking a sip. 

“Okay so for Itachi’s uhhh 24th birthday we all got together and took him to a hibachi grill that one of our friend’s parents owned. Have you ever been to a hibachi grill?” Naruto asked. Sasuke shook his head. 

 

“Okay. Well. You all sit at like this bar and the chef cooks directly in front of you. It’s usually in this big show and sometimes shit catches on fire. Anyway, so we bring Itachi here for his birthday. So I’m sitting on Itachi’s left and when the chef starts cooking he’s like ‘this shit is so cool!’ Then shit hits the fan.  _ Literally.  _ These giant flames shoot up off the grill and yah know everyone jumps slightly but Itachi flips  _ his shit.  _ He shrieked and jumped up, only to trip over his chair and fall on the floor… bringing me and Shikamaru down with him. He actually like dislocated his shoulder AND fractured my wrist so we had to go to the ER and so we started calling him Hibachi’Tachi.” Naruto finished the explanation with a shrug. Sasuke stared, trying to imagine Itachi shrieking in a busy restaurant.  _ He couldn’t.  _

 

“That really doesn’t sound like Itachi” Sasuke said quietly. Naruto opened his mouth to say something but then there were plates being set in front of them. He thanked Mrs. Hoshigaki with a smile and then proceeded to drown his pancakes in syrup. 

 

“Itachi’s a lot different than how he was when I met him. Oh! I have videos I can show you after we finish eating!” Sasuke nodded and took a small bite of his pancakes.  _ Naruto really wasn’t lying. These were really good.  _

 

Saduke continued to poke and prod at his pancakes, eating a few bites here and there, but he was just so  _ nauseous.  _

 

Luckily, Naruto finished eating in record time and crawled out of his side of the booth and slid into Sasuke’s side. 

 

Sasuke’s heart rate started to pick up the closer Naruto got. 

Naruto scrolled through his photos for a minute before handing the phone over. 

 

“This is a year and a half ago. We went to a club for Neji’s birthday.” He explained as if Sasuke already knew who Neji was. 

Sasuke hit play.  

 

Loud music started playing and Sasuke instantly recognized Itachi in the video. 

He was wearing black ripped jeans and… a  _ thrasher tank top??  _ The sides were cut out all the way down to basically the bottom hem. And on top of everything he had on a letterman that looked like it was 3 sizes too big. 

He was holding an empty beer bottle in his hand. 

The song in the background changed and Sasuke vaguely recognized it as Paparazzi by Lady Gaga. 

 

Itachi’s head snapped up and his face lit up. 

 

“Naru! Naru it’s my song!!” He screamed over the music and Naruto laughs.  _ Sasuke assumes Naruto is the one filming _

 

“We are the crowd

We're c-coming out

Got my flash on it's true

Need that picture of you

It's so magical

We'd be so fantastical” Itachi is singing into his bottle and spinning around. 

He stumbles and slams into someone who has to be at  _ least  _ three times his size. 

The giant turns around and grins down at Itachi, who doesn’t miss a beat and keeps singing. 

Naruto leans close to Sasuke and points at the giant man. 

 

“That’s Kisame” he tells Sasuke and Sasuke nods silently, eyes still glued to the phone screen. 

 

“Leather and jeans” Itachi runs his hand down Kisame’s chest. 

“We're rock glamorous

Not sure what it means

But this photo of us

It don’t have a price” Itachi spins around and presses his back against Kisame’s chest, running his hand down his face. 

 

“Ready for those flashing lights

Cause you know that baby I” Itachi stumbles forward this time and Kisame’s hands slide under both of Itachi’s arms and Itachi looks mildly surprised as he’s lifted off the ground. 

 

He sits Itachi on his right shoulder as Itachi continues to sing. 

 

“I'm your biggest fan

I'll follow you until you love me

Papa-paparazzi” Itachi throws one of his legs over the other and runs his fingers through Kisame’s hair. 

“Baby there's no other superstar

You know that I'll be

Your papa-paparazzi”

 

Itachi finishes the verse and leans forward too far and slips off Kisame’s shoulder, but Kisame’s reflexes are  _ phenomenal  _ because in the blink of an eye he’s got Itachi in his arms bridal style. Itachi doesn’t  _ even blink.  _

 

“I'll be a girl backstage at your show

Velvet ropes and guitars

Yeah 'cause you're my

Rockstar in between the sets

Eyeliner and cigarettes” Itachi throws one of his legs straight up into the air and tips his bottle to sing into it as he stretches out his hand towards the camera. 

 

Then the video cuts off. 

 

Naruto could barely contain his laughter near the end. 

Sasuke found himself grinning as he handed Naruto’s phone back. 

 

“Oh man. That’s one of my favorite videos. Wanna see another one?” Naruto asked. Sasuke nodded. 

 

_ It was weird to see Itachi acting like that when he’d been so closed off when they were kids.  _

 

Naruto scrolled for a second then handed the phone back. 

 

“This one's from the party we threw for Gaara’s graduation.” Naruto explained. 

 

Sasuke hit play and everything blurred into focus slowly. 

“Kiba’s recording. I had him send me the video after the party.” Naruto said. 

  
  
  


The video was shaky as Kiba panned over the entire party. 

Sasuke spotted Naruto immediately, his bright blond hair made him easy to spot. Naruto was sitting  _ in between the legs of a guy  _ with long brown hair that fell over his shoulders, and a bright orange bandana around his forehead. 

The brunette was leaning against the couch with a leg on either side of Naruto and there were other people Sitting in a circle with Naruto. 

 

_ Of course Naruto isn’t single. _

 

Sasuke swallowed down his disappointment and focused on the video _ not the blond next to him who is very much not single.  _

_ Not that he’d want to be in a relationship with you anyway. Stupid.  _

 

It looked like they were playing some kind of drinking game. Then, the camera panned to the right where Itachi could be seen. Again, he was wearing something Sasuke never thought he’d see Itachi wear. 

 

Itachi had on a pink and blue tie dye crop top,  _ exposing a swirling tattoo on his lower abdomen that Sasuke had never seen before.  _

Then Itachi had on those same ripped black skinny jeans. Sasuke had to blink a few times to make sure that it really was Itachi in the video and there was no mistaking it really was Itachi. 

 

Itachi was leaning over a green table, ping pong ball in hand. 

 

_ They were playing beer pong. Oh.  _

 

Itachi threw the ball and it landed directly in a cup. Itachi cheered 

 

“That’s point 1 for the Uchiha!!!” He cheered and then busted out into laughter. He turned to his right and high fived Kisame. 

 

Kiba panned the camera over to the guy on the other side of the table. A guy with a tired look on his face and brown hair tied up into a ponytail. 

 

“What a drag” he said tiredly as he grabbed the cup, pulled out the ping pong ball and downed the cup in one go, grimacing. Kiba snickered from behind the camera. Ponytail sent Kiba a death glare 

 

“You’re fucking going DOWN UCHIHA!” A blond guy with a ponytail screamed. He tossed his ping pong ball across the table and it landed in a cup. 

 

“That’s a point for team ShikaDara!!!” He cheered turning and holding up his hand for a high five. 

Ponytail stared at the blond’s hand for a minute before lazily tapping his hand against his. 

 

“Tell me why I got stuck with Deidara on my team?” Ponytail asked aloud as he got ready to throw his ball. 

The blond looked mildly offended. 

 

“Hey well fuck you too Shikamaru! And you got stuck with me because Gaara and Naruto are over there playing never have I ever!” He exclaimed. Shikamaru smiled just a little bit before tossing his ball. 

 

It landed in a cup. 

 

“Another point for… what did you call our team again?” Shikamaru said as he looked to the blond. 

 

“We are ShikaDara!!” The blond cheered, pumping his fist in the air. 

 

The camera panned back to Itachi who grabbed the cup and sniffed it. 

 

“Guyyyyyyyyys this ones the cup full of blueberry vodkaaaa” Itachi whined. Behind Itachi, Kisame was laughing. 

 

Itachi, now distraught, turned to Kisame holding out the cup. 

 

“Kisameeeee! You drink it!” He said holding up the cup near Kisame’s face. Kisame shook his head. 

 

“Nope! It’s your turn ‘Tachi. I drank the last one” Kisame replied with a smile. Itachi groaned and stomped his feet like a little kid before bringing the cup up to his face and sniffing it. 

 

He turned to Kiba, face serious. 

 

“If I die I want you to tell Naruto that I LOVE HIM and he’s the BEST because HE'S A TRUE FRIEND AND HE WOULD TAKE THIS SHOT FOR ME” Itachi exclaimed loudly, glancing over his shoulder at Kisame every few words. 

Behind the camera, Kiba snickered. 

 

Kisame shook his head, but there was a smile on his face.  

 

Itachi sniffed the cup again before sighing and taking a deep breath. 

 

He chugged the cup in one go and slammed it down onto the table. He grimaced and stuck his tongue out. 

 

“Ughhhjhh” he screamed, face still screwed up. 

He shook his head quickly and opened his eyes to grin at Kiba. 

 

“Go Uchiha!!! Yeehaw!!” The blond exclaimed with a grin. Itachi threw his arms up and started laughing. 

 

“That’s right! Cheer for me!!! For I am now your king!” Itachi stumbled backwards but Kisame caught him. 

 

“Woah there Your Highness. I think you’ve had enough to drink” Kisame said. Itachi shook his head violently and tried to stand again, only to stumble back down. 

 

“It’s Mr. Your Highness to you and I will decide when I’ve had enough!” Itachi said. Then his face turned slightly green and he turned to Kisame and in all serious said. 

 

“I think I’ve had enough” and the video cut off. 

 

Sasuke handed the phone back. 

 

“Do you guys always get plastered when you go out?” Sasuke asked and Naruto laughed. 

 

“No. Not all of us drink. If we go out somewhere we always have DDs” Naruto said grinning. 

 

Sasuke blinked a few times,  _ the only real party he’d ever been to was that one Suigetsu threw last spring and….  _ Sasuke shook the thought out of his head, but nevertheless, his skin started to crawl. 

 

As if sensing his sudden discomfort Naruto crawled out of Sasuke’s side of the booth and slid back into his side. 

 

“Alright! You about ready to get a move on? Only” naruto checked his phone and counted with his fingers. 

 

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. 

 

“2 more hours?” He asked and Naruto’s face turned bright red. 

 

“Hey! I was getting there Okay?! I’m tired and numbers aren’t my thing!” He cried covering his face. 

 

Suddenly, Mrs. Hoshigaki appeared, two Togo cups in her hands. 

She sat the cups down and Naruto’s head flew up. 

 

“Thanks ma!” He exclaimed while pulling out his wallet. Sasuke snorted because  _ Naruto's wallet was a frog purse? What? _

_ Mrs Hoshigaki put her hand over Naruto’s wallet.  _

 

“Oh you don’t have to pay anything this time, it’s on the house, as long as you promise to bring Itachi and my son along next time” she said with a smile and Naruto grinned widely. 

 

“You got it Ma!” He said excitedly. She reached over and ruffled his hair. 

 

“You two be careful on the way home you hear?” She called as they both climbed out the booth. Naruto waved. 

“Yeah I got it! Drive fast and take chances” she glared and shook her head at him. Naruto snickered and bolted forward to grab the door and hold it open for Sasuke. 

 

“After you M’lord” he said in a horribly fake British accent and bowed. Sasuke couldn’t help but snort. 

 

“Loser” he said and Naruto stuck his tongue out. 

**Author's Note:**

> Also, I have like over 1k words written about like fun facts about this AU if anyone's interested, maybe I can post it as a chapter... ;)
> 
> Oh! and as far as the group chat names its:  
> SendNoods: Naruto  
> FiveHead: Sakura  
> Thatlldo(Ino)Pig: Ino  
> Hyuugofuckurself: Neji  
> *Hackervoice*imin: Shikamaru  
> ItsCactUS-notCactYOU: Gaara


End file.
